A workplace anthem for anyone grinding hard and owning nothing.
No Equity is the parody banger for every employee who’s spent years working, hustling, stressing — and still doesn’t own a piece of what they’re building. Flipping the iconic flow of No Diggity, The Rebel Accountant turns corporate life into a punchline you can nod your head to: the rat race, the rented laptop, the whack company car, and the dream of ownership that never seems to materialise.
This isn’t a joke track — it’s a mirror. A painfully accurate one.
If you’ve ever been told to “think like an owner” while owning absolutely nothing, this song is for you.
Delivered with the same deadpan honesty and technical precision that defined “Forgot About VAT” and “Dear HMRC,” No Equity blends sharp lyricism with tax‑world truth, startup‑scene satire, and just enough bite to make it sting. It’s the soundtrack to every all‑hands meeting where the company “can’t offer equity right now but loves your passion.”
Play it loud. Play it at work. Play it the next time your boss mentions “the cap table.”